TOP 10 FANTASY FOOTBALL DRAFT FOULS

Every season you and your close knit group of friends get together either in a draft lobby or in person and draft your team for the season (Walter and Jimmy are the only exceptions cause they're behavior in past leagues and life in general force them to do Public leagues). Here are 10 simple rules to follow when drafting your team.

#1. After your first pick in the draft do not yell, "Championship"

#2. In the 20 or so years fantasy football has been around, scientists have not come up with a clear advantage for purposely using the full 2 minutes given for each pick, so dont do it...especially in first round.

#3.Round 3 is when the majority of teams will select their first WR, and as sure as Eli will shit the bed the second half of the season, T.J Houshmanzadah will be selected. We've all seen the commercial buddy, theres no need to yell out "Housmazilla" or "T.J. whos your momma!" That shit will have you making posts in a 10 man public league faster than you can say Canada sucks.

#4. Pre-draft deuce. I take 3 of them throughout the day before the draft on draft day. There are no time-outs or do-overs.

#5. Russel Athletics does not provide contracts upon purchase of Peyton Manning jerseys so wearing one to the draft does not secure him on your team. Go ahead and draft Marshawn Lynch at 11, but don't expect big brother to be sitting there on the way back. Don't get angry, just be ready to change strategies. Listen, I'm not intentionally trying to make you upset, its my job. It's my job to embariss you and blow your mind before week 1 even starts. So rule #5, have a plan, dont be a bonehead.

#6.Bring a small snack. I know your a filthy gindo but you can go one day without eating a breaded cutlet. It wont kill you to skip having ravilois for lunch. I dont want my draft board having more Prego than over-rated Rb's on it. So, peanuts yes. Garlic knots, no.

#7. No women. And I dont mean not to bring your girlfriend, but now women in the league. Period. I expect over 3,000 posts this year in my league, and I dont want a single one of them having anything about the new Beverly Hills 90210 and why Iain Ziering isn't reprising his roll as Steve Sanders.

#8. Test your draft lobby.

#9. Antonio Gates is not worth a 4th round pick, no TE is. If you want to take him that high then more power to you, but I dont think he's the #1 TE anyway and no TE is worth grabbing before late 5th round.

#10. Dont expect to win cause I am a beast.