8 Things Darrelle Revis Covers Better Then

With the popularity of this tweet, I decided to make up a bunch of similar shit. Enjoy.

1) Revis covers better than Meghan Fox's underwear...but give it a week

2) Revis covers better than Biff's Sports Almanac

3) Revis covers better then an extra large Snuggie keeping a midget warm

4) Revis covers better than a loop loc in November

5) Revis covers better then an Applebee's waitress who will take extra shifts and pretend like she needs money but in actuality she has nothing better to do

6) Revis covers better then a bunch of old guys in a boner pill commercial trying to relive their wild oats by playing Rush or Fleetwood Mac songs

7) Revis covers better then a magazine on your counter when you can't find you keys and your already late Goddamnit

8) Revis has better coverage than the Verizon Wireless Network in NYC...hear me now?

(Yes I am aware that this is borderline retarded)