Enough With the Mets and Bonds Talk...Its NOT Happening

There has been plenty of pointless discussion lately about the Mets possibly considering Barry Bonds to fill an outfield spot. Due to Moises Alou's current and pretty much guaranteed-in-the-future injury problems plus Ryan "take em to" Church's health issues, A few of the New York newspapers have decided to stir up some controversy by reporting about this inevitable non-signing.

Newsday has claimed that the Mets need to take a deeper look at Bonds because..."But if Alou, 41, is forced to miss any significant time, or Carlos Delgado's hip condition deteriorates rapidly, or the Mets lose another of their major offensive weapons, Minaya might have no choice other than to explore the Bonds gambit."

I contend that these rumors are preposterous.

Here are 6 reasons why will Bonds not be in a Met uniform in 2008

1) We already have too many old and fragile players

2) Endy Chavez

3) Omar Minaya stopped taking acid in after he left Montreal

4) One of the offseason goals was too improve defensively, not regress

5) No one likes him or is dying to have him and his attitude in the clubhouse, especially Willie

6) The Daily News said that the Mets brass is quoted saying "a high-ranking Mets official insisted there is no interest in taking on the monumental baggage - which includes charges of perjury and obstruction of justice - stemming from the out-of-work home run king's involvement in baseball's ongoing steroids mess."

I hope that after reading this you realize that these rumors are retarded and that the only reason why this is being discussed is because Spring Training is boring as shit and there is nothing else to talk about.