A Kinda Serious New York Jets QB Comparison

The Jets begin Practices this week and everyone is excited to hear about who the Starting QB will be. Here are the advantages and disadvantages of both whiteboys

Clemens Advantages
-Young and boisterous
-Can throw in a spiral formation more than 20 yards
-Seems to be a heterosexual
-Mobile enough to avoid D'Brickashaw's inefficiencies
-The Pope blessed his daughter in April
Clemens Disadvantages
-Hails from Oregon, the same state as Joey Harrington
-Doesn't know WTF he's doing
-Seems to be injury prone aka a vagoun
-Young and inexperienced
-Speculation is that he is a "system" quarterback

Chadinngton's Advantages
-Can easily combine first and last name into one name
-Most accurate passer in history of NFL
-Has won playoff games and has beaten the Patriots
-Is tall enough to see over new OL Faneca and "Woody"
-Has golden blonde locks of hair that distract DE's
Chadinngton's Disadvantages
-His arm resembles overcooked pasta made by a dead women
-Less mobile than a rotary telephone device
-Routinely out-thrown in practice by the punt shaggers
-Familiar with getting injured while doing low intensive labor tasks
-Did I mention his arm yet?

I just emailed these to Mangini to he can get a head start on his decision making process. I'm here to help folks, I'm here to help.