NYSS Exclusive: Eli Manning is the Ninja Burglar!!!

There are two huge news stories going around in the city today. One is the Giants 1st playoff victory in 7 years. The other, is the fact that the Ninja Burglar has struck again for the 19th time in less than a year.



So your probably asking yourself, What is the reason for the seemingly ludicrous accusation that an already rich quarterback of the New York Giants is in the middle of the playoff run, would feel the need to jeopardize his life and health by sneaking around Staten Island neighborhoods holding nun-chucks in search of jewelry, gold, frankincense and muhr?



Well isn't it obvious? Always expect the unexpected. Burglars usually break, enter and steal not because they need the money, but because they seek the thrill of breaking the law. This is the same reason why Eli waits until the last possible second before throwing a interception and getting pummeled. For the thrill.



According to this Daily News article Eli proposed to his high school sweetheart girlfriend in early March 2007 by getting on his knees and and giving her a diamond ring.Where do you think he got that diamond ring? Huh? Yeah exactly. And it was within 2 months of his first burglary.



So remember when Eli "got hurt" in the first game of the season against the Cowboys? What he hurt? His right shoulder? Ok so now take a look at this article here about a altercation the Ninja Burglar got in with a man who inhabits a house he was burglarizing. The heroic man stabbed the Ninja in the chest in a valiant effort to defend him self against Eli's nunchuck skills. Where did he hit him in the "upper chest" aka the shoulder.



Want another reason? Look at the artist rendition picture of the Ninja taken above. Whats the Ninja wearing? Exactly, Citizen Eco Drive Watch, lust like Eli wears. You know what the Slogan for that ad campaign is? Unstoppable just like Eli Manning...and the Ninja Burglar.