Fake Interview with an Islanders Ice Girl

The New York football season is over and pitchers and catchers haven't reported to spring training yet. Since the Knicks blow, lets talk some hockey eh! But instead of me pretending to actually know enough about hockey to intelligently write about it (and since RangersGal is slacking off as of late) lets conduct a fake interview with an Islanders Ice Girl. Disclaimer: I don't know who this girl at all. I'm sure she is a wonderful young women who has a great life and does great things. There is no harm intended by this completely fugazi interview.

NYSG: Thanks for doing an interview with NYSS.

Islanders Ice Girl: No problem. My friend Louie told me about this site after he typed Jets Suck into google after they lost a few months back.

NYSG: What's your name Islanders Ice Girl?

Islanders Ice Girl: My name is Jenni with an "I"

NYSG: Where are you from?

Jenny: I'm from Mineola Lawng Eyeland. It's in Nassau County, which is the pawt of Lawng Eyeland that is real close to New Yawk. Not like Suffolk where dey graze cows and grow crops and stuff /snaps Dentyne Ice gum loudly

NYSG: Yeah I get it. How is it like being an Islanders Ice Girl? What exactly does your job entail?

Jenny: Oh my GAWD its great. Everybody takes pictures of you and you get paid to skate around and like, pick up ice shreds during TV timeouts. It's pretty easy actually except ya legs get real tired from skatin around and stuff. /gazes at Blackberry, wipes bangs away from face

NYSG: That must be great to be able to skate on the ice. Are you a big Islanders fan?

Jenny: Are you kidding me? Hall YAAA!!! I'm a yuge Islandaaz fan!!! Let's go Islandaaz! I always beep the horn of my red accawd coupe on the Wantagh pawkway afta they like, win and stuff. /Rolls eyes

NYSG: Um, yeah that's great. Who is your favorite player on the team?

Jenny: Joe Tavares

NYSG: Wait, you mean John...Nevermind. How does one get a job as an Ice Girl?

Jenny: /typing on Blackberry. Huh?

NYSG: How did you get this job?

Jenny: Oh. My Fatha owns Millennium Honda in Hempstead on Franklin Street. It's right next ta the country club. Anyways, My Fatha knows the Controlla for the Islandaz, Mr. Romano, because they have the same accountant plus the dealaship sponsas the team. They wa talkin one day and Mr. Ramono told my Fatha they had an audition for new girls and since my fatha told me that I should finally get a job since afta I graduated from Hofstra all I've been doin is askin him fa money awl the time. So then I went to the audition and the people intaviewin me realized that I was much cuter then the otha girls and the rest is history. /gazes at Blackberry, wipes bangs away from face

NYSG: Do you ever get to interact with the players?

Jenny: Oh my Gawd definitely! Sometimes we meet up the playahs at Mulcahy's afta games since some of the girls go out with the playahs who speak English as opposed to Russian or Canadian. My good friend actually hooks up with Kyle Okposo even though we always joke that he definitely looks like tha offspring of Carrot Top and Venus Williams.

NYSG: OooooK, definitely um...I imagine you have other aspirations in life after you get tired of being an Islander Ice Girl? What do you see your future being like?

Jenny: I figyad that being an Ice Girl would jumpstawt my mawdiling careear so I would like to find an apawtment and move into the city. I can act, sing, and dance real good so I don't think it'll be too lawng befow I am in TV shows and stuff. My boyfriend also has connections in the city and they can hook me up with the right people.

NYSG: Ok great. Any websites you want to promote or people you wanna shout out before I let you go?

Jenny: Well my websites still unda construction right now but the address is JenniMaganelli dawt com. Shout out to Sacred Heart class of '03 and Hofstra Class of '09!

The Best of Islanders Ice Girls Photo Slideshow