Jason Bay is well on his way to going down as one of the worst free agent signings in Mets history.
Some people would suggest that Oliver Perez, Vince Coleman, Bobby Bonilla or Luis Castillo would be the worst and those people might be correct. WHO KNOWS, you might be one of those people. One thing about those shitty Mets players is that they had their moments, albeit sparingly. Oliver Perez owned the rival Philllies for a period of time. Castillo hit .300 one year. Bonilla averaged 24 home runs during his Mets tenure. Vince Coleman threw fireworks at annoying/drunk Mets fans. They all had their moments.
However, because I'm a lazy blogger and you're a lazy reader (just kidding I love you). Here's a list of 10 reasons that might convince you that Jason Bay is atrocious and deserving of being a part of Mets infamy.
1) He duped us. He compiled monster numbers in the years prior to signing with the Mets, hitting over 32 HR's and 100 RBI's 3 times. Since putting on the blue and orange, he has 8 HR's and 57 RBI's in about a full season worth of at-bats. You can compare this to a guy taking a girl out to nice restaurants, concerts, and events until she has sex with him. Then he only takes her to Popeye's and Nick Cage matinée's. Every time we see Jason Bay strike out it's like watching Ghost Rider for the 86th time.
2) The Mets have either paid him or owe him the following monetary amounts - 10:$6.5M, 11:$16M, 12:$16M, 13:$16M, 14:$17M club option ($3M buyout). This basically means we're fucked for the next few years with this Canadian vampire sucking blood out of the Mets already hemophilic payroll.
3) Speaking of Bay being Canadian, he's from Canada. And not even a cool part of Canada like Montreal, Quebec City or Toronto. He's from Trail, British Columbia which can't even think of a decent name for their town. Instead, when the time for them to name their town arose, they thought "oh we don't have roads here but we have trails. Let's name it Trail." Real original. Was 'Moose' taken already? Dumbasses.
4) He's a fragile bitch. He played in 95 games last year. That's 58% of the total amount of games he's paid to play. I wouldn't be going out on a limb to say he will miss significant time this year due to his fragile bitchness.
5) He's not clutch. It's one thing if you suck balls most of the time but get a big hits in a big spots, but Jason Bay does neither. I'd say about 88% of the time Bay strikes out when runners are in scoring position in late game situations. The other 12% of the time he grounds out and moves the runner over. Whoopty-effin-do.
6) It's because of Jason Bay that we can't resign Jose Reyes and other players who actually contribute. So it isn't enough that we are stuck with this guy creating wind currents every time he steps up to the plate, but he is actually preventing the Mets from re-signing guys like Jose who deserve big money.
7) He is awful this year when the Mets need him the most. I won't get into why the Mets are having a horrific season because you know this already. The Mets needed him to get off to a good start this year and he has been nothing but pathetic. Hitting .207 with a .301 on base percentage and a disgusting, gagging, deplorable, miserable, and just plain awful .585 OPS.
8) Lets get all stats-y for a second. Advanced stats that look deep into how a player is performing also show that Bay is a horrible baseball player. His WAR is -1.1 which means he is a well below average baseball player this year and his wRC+ is 71 (where 100 is the average offensive player). The Mets Blog Amazin Avenue ranks the Mets players based on sophistcated saber stats each week and every week I look at it Jason Bay has downward facing red arrows next to his name. Your assumption that downward facing red arrows is a bad thing is correct.
9) He's not on Twitter nor does he have any meaningful connection with fans. I for one would like Bay better if he tweeted or made some attempt to console emo fans after he constantly screws up. Something like "Hey guys, I know I've been subpar this year but I'm working hard to fix this." I'd feel SO much better after reading that he actually cares about being such a shitty baseball player.
10) Grady Sizemore, a well known douche, is one of Bay's best friends. Grady was a groomsman at Bay's wedding. Grady texts suggestive pics of himself to girls and once you cross this proverbial Weiner-line you are forever a douchebag. No way around it.
BONUS) He prefers to bunt. One game earlier this season, the Mets media was giving Terry Collins shit for bunting in a late game situation with Bay (the CLEANUP HITTER) at the plate. The problem with this is that Bay actually CHOOSE to bunt himself. Which is just abhorrent for a thousand reason including but not limited to: He's a scared baby and he possesses no confidence whatsoever.
BONUS #2) Lets elaborate on his lack of confidence thing because I don't want Bay to be awful, I want him to play well and help the Mets win games. When he steps up to the plate he has NO confidence. You can tell he doesn't want to be there because he knows he will screw up. Why doesn't he just PRETEND to have some swagger. Go up and there and dare the pitcher to throw you a fastball or hang a slider. Remember how he used to RAKE? I do, but those memories are dissipating quicker with each crappy at-bat.