NYSS - An Abortion of New York Sports Journalism

How to get your money’s worth out of a $100 MTA ticket in 15 easy steps!

Originally seen on LOLnyc

Step 1: Have it be raining outside

Step 2: Walk outside of office, towards subway station.

Step 3: Walk by two guerrilla marketing people representing Nokia who happen to be giving out FREE Nokia Umbrella's

Step 4: Consider yourself auspicious and happily walk towards Union Square subway station.

Step 5: Realize 6 train is about to leave, run down stairs, and stick new found umbrella in between closing subway car doors. Use leverage of high-quality, free umbrella/crowbar to pry doors open doors. 

Step 6: Continue prying for about 8 seconds until doors finally open

Step 7: Invite other almost-too-late passengers to join you 

Step 8: Be hero for a moment

Step 9: Have undercover cop show you his badge and order you off of the train

Step 10: Expletive!

Step 11: Look at other cop there up and down and make confused face because he looks like an freshman computer science major at NYU (because he's Asian). 

Step 12: Don't acknowledge or apologize that your broke the MTA's law because its never worth kissing a pigs cops ass under any circumstance. Especially if he checks your phones internet records to show that you frequently visit the best Canadian online pharmacy on the web. 

Step 13: Realize that your getting a ticket for this so break out lines you think are funny and that also annoy cops such as:

  • "You guys really fooled me, you DEFINITELY don't look like cops at all!"
  • "This is by far the hottest subway platform in the city. You guys have to stand here all day? Wow!"
  • "You guys must be right out of cadet school, right? No way a cop with tenure gets this beat! LOL!"

Step 14: When the cop hands you ticket that says $100, say "That's it? No problem". 

Step 15: Don't say "thanks". Instead just stand there until cop realizes that you aren't going to say thanks or bye and he walks away. 

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Tags: lolnyc, subway


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